body as a weather system

12/09/24

like clockwork,
my body would jolt me awake at 3am
and I would tell it,
"no. lie back down.
I’m never leaving”

so it built a tornado inside,

nerves firing like stars pulsing
like lighthouses warning,
and I thought,

wow,
what a beautiful sky

it’s not like the blinds
were open,
it’s not like the sun
was anywhere but my mind,

and in my mind,
we were nearly there,
in eternal light

my mind was safer
than anywhere I’d ever been
so I stayed in there
and ignored the outside

in what I now see was a prison,

my body stopped me walking
my body made me late,
tried to stop me from going at all,
sometimes, my body
wouldn’t even let me stand upright

and in the depths of a July
that ached
like an ageing spine,
I spoke to my inner child
for perhaps the first time

she said,
"can we go, now?”

and I obliged